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After accidentally smashing my iPhone 3GS to smithereens on Thursday, I decided to spend last weekend technology free. And by technology free, I really mean Internet free. It was a bold experiment I have tried previously without success. It seems that something always comes up. Work. New iPad. Whatever.
With the sudden absence of my iPhone, I thought THIS was the weekend to do it. I told my wife. She laughed sarcastically, obviously used to my good intentions that never amount to anything.
So Friday at 5:30 p.m. I shut off. Shut down. Disconnected. Radio silence.
By 5:31 p.m. I was already suffering withdrawal. What was going on out there? Gawd, I wanted to check Twitter. Facebook. I wanted to log on to Beejive. What if a B-list celebrity died? Is there some new viral thing everyone is laughing about? I wouldn’t find out until Monday!!!
“Hello. My name is Jon Finkelstein and I am an iDouche.”
It was crazy hard. But I was determined NOT to connect with anything digital/screen based for two whole days. My laptop was there, deadly black. My iPhone was in the drawer, tempting me. Every moment of silence, every second I wasn’t doing something else, my mind wandered to Facebook, email, etc. On more than one occasion I reached into my pocket for my phone only to find it empty. I have become a serious multi-tasker. Never satisfied doing one thing at a time, never fully enjoying each moment. I think this is wrong.
When I went out to the park with my kids, I found myself looking at the other dads, head down, thumbs-a-typing as their children called for their attention. I am (usually) one of those guys. I noticed couples doing the same thing at restaurants, favouring the screen over the face across the table. WTF?
During my unplugged weekend I learned some things.
1. I am not that important.
2. If people really need to contact me, they have my phone number.
3. By disconnecting, I allowed myself the opportunity to recharge a little more than I usually do. Which, in a way, made me more energetic on Monday.
4. B-list celebs don’t usually overdose on the weekend.
To say that advertising is a busy industry is putting it mildly. It’s fast. It’s service-oriented. And in order to succeed you have to work hard. Really hard. But in the process of developing my career, I think I have lost some of my ability to turn off and focus outside of the business. And I think that’s a loss. But is it lost forever?
Jon Finkelstein
August 24, 2010 @ 11:04 am
BTW: while my iphone was smashed, it still worked. Hence the temptation. The major drawback was the shards of glass that would stick into my fingers if i touched the screen….
Dré
August 24, 2010 @ 11:11 am
My iphone died 3 weeks ago … I’ve been in a state of semi-social-non-existence. I only twitter on a computer now. skype on the ipad just looks silly. I’m being ousted as the mayor of everything on foursquare.
I propose we start a support group.
Ean
August 24, 2010 @ 11:13 am
I get that phantom phone feeling in my pocket if I don’t have something there. I don’t think I could ever forget it.
I suppose it doesn’t help that I have a huge, bulky G1.
Most of what I do on my phone is post photos. I use my devices for content creation. If I disconnect for a few days from my usual communications mediums I end up having a bunch of backed up notifications that I probably wouldn’t have fully read in the first place.
Every once in a while this cycle forces me to cut down on the crap that I subject myself to. It makes it easier to focus but I end up finding something else to distract myself with.
Jim Borwick
August 24, 2010 @ 11:15 am
When you say recharge a little more, you’re not talking about giving your devices more battery power?
Good thoughts
Jacoub Bondre
August 24, 2010 @ 11:21 am
I would love to try this experiment. But I’m thinking I need a beach, and copious amounts of alcohol to prevent digital separation anxiety.
Matt Rogers
August 24, 2010 @ 11:22 am
“iDouche”. Nice.
Adam Gordon
August 24, 2010 @ 11:26 am
Wonderful article. It really goes to show how blissfully unaware we are of our “addiction” to social media, and that we really don’t know what we have until it’s gone. It’s almost as if something we did never even happened if it hasn’t been broadcast to our social circles via 140 words.
I enjoy the poking fun at those people who go out with friends and relatives, yet stay face down in their phones almost as much as I enjoyed the term “iDouche”.
I’m going to try this next weekend. Wish me luck.
Adam Gordon
August 24, 2010 @ 11:28 am
Ironically, I’d like to add that I found this via Facebook, and shared it on Twitter about a minute after I read it. I’ve been awake for 1 hour.
Michelle Davey
August 24, 2010 @ 11:53 am
Great article Jon.
I had a similar experience last week when I sold my then current bell phone in anticipation for the new iphone4… and was left phone-less for a 10 whole days!! It’s a different world on the “other side.” I found it hard, yet refreshing, to not be connected 24/7 and to be in control of my availability only when I seeked a phone to call someone. I was more engaged in conversations in “real” life and found myself less stressed and rushed.
There is nothing worse then sitting with people while they text away.
I think we all need to step back from our devices and take a look around us.
Doug Lepak
August 24, 2010 @ 11:56 am
Hi Jon, although I’ve never been involved in the technology world to the extent you are, I have also changed my habits concerning the amount of information I put in front of myself.
Several months ago I canceled my newspaper subscription (a daily habit that ate up way more time than I had imagined) and immediately started to feel better about the world at large because I wasn’t being inundated with all the BAD/NEGATIVE stories that are printed. Try finding some good/positive articles in the daily paper … you can usually count them on one hand. The funny pages don’t count either!
Next I REALLY cut back on my TV time. Again, the news and news programs are something I rarely if ever watch anymore. Have you noticed how after most stories we end up hearing the newscasters opinion??? I thought they were just supposed to present an unbiased report and it was up to each individual to judge the situation as it pertains to them??? Comedy channel here I come.
My cell phone is 12 years old and I’ve never even tried to text on it and wouldn’t have a clue how to do it anyway. I long ago stopped trying to count the number of people who are texting or talking on their phones while driving … it would be much easier to count the number who aren’t !!! I really enjoy driving my classic car and can’t imagine doing anything other than driving when I’m behind the wheel. About 2 times a month I’ll get a call when behind the wheel, unless I’m expecting a call I won’t even bother to pull over and answer it. I think I’m the last person still using his cell phone for the original purpose I got it : “if needed for an emergency”. Not as a distraction from life just to hear another human voice.
My one concession to technology is my computer. E-mail, FB and message boards are my weakness but there is an end to my madness. It’s all done to promote my business and the price is right for the exposure I get.
( Unabashed plug – web site: http://www.stwheelz.com )
As you remove yourself more and more from the instant gratification end of technology you really do start to live your life differently Jon.
Next add in some spirituality and meditation to clear your mind of the daily clutter and help you focus on what you really want to accomplish every day.
Exercise is also very important but do something you really like or love to do. I could never run just for the sake of running but I LOVE BALL HOCKEY and play 2 to 3 times a week (that’s up to 8 hours of running !!! ) and with a bunch of punk kids half my age who also love the sport. The physical pain is proof positive I’m alive and kicking LOL. Just try to think about business or any problems you have as you’re playing a sport, ain’t gonna happen.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you can still do your job, know what’s going on in the world (what’s important to you, not just fluff to fill empty brain space) and expand yourself to do the really important things like interacting with and making memories for yourself, your family and friends. It’s impossible to be present and aware in every moment when you are being pulled at from so many directions.
I know Technology is advancing at a phenomenal rate and no one wants to be left behind but is it worth what you are missing in one on one human interactions??? There has to be a balance and I know it’s going to be different for each person but I believe it’s worth searching for.
Rant off :)
2 Disconnect or Not 2 Disconnect « nerdologist.com
August 24, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
[...] a great blog posting over at the Big Orange Slide highlighting the one man’s weekend disconnected electronically [...]
Jon Finkelstein
August 24, 2010 @ 12:08 pm
Thanks for the great words of wisdom, Doug. I think Marilyn Manson had it right in Bowling for Columbine. He described our society as being predicated upon Fear and Consumption. Working in advertising, I dont mind the consumption part ;-). BUT I do think the news media preys on our insecurity and propagates fear-mongering. I think it’s so important to achieve balance in our lives, if for no other reason than it will allow us to do our day jobs better.
Lauren
August 24, 2010 @ 12:17 pm
I, too, can join the ranks of the iDouches. I knew I had a problem when my boyfriend — who rarely gets angry — and I were out for dinner and he looked me sternly in the eye and said, “You know I’m fine with your digital addiction, but if you pull out your iPhone during dinner again, I’m going home.” It’s amazing how much better dinner conversation is when you’re not distracted by texts and e-mail.
Doug Lepak
August 24, 2010 @ 12:25 pm
Thanks Jon, I learned a lot of this “Wisdom” through my separation from my wife (about 6 months ago) when I started to really take these distractions seriously.
Even though we likely won’t be getting back together, our relationship is better than pretty much any time during our 24 years of marriage. My relationships with my sons, friends and family are also blooming because I’m putting them first (where they belong in the hierarchy).
You can loose much more than just time. Balance is the key.
Oh yeah my business is expanding every month too as I put real quality time into the work and customer relations.
Doug Lepak
August 24, 2010 @ 12:43 pm
Oh and by the way, I’m starting on your steering wheel today Jon!!!
It’ll be sweet.
Vlad Dascalu
August 24, 2010 @ 2:08 pm
iDouche. Amazing!
Great ****ing read.
Joseph Gibroni
August 24, 2010 @ 2:16 pm
The average person today consumes almost three times more information than what the typical person consumed in 1960, according to research at the University of California, San Diego.
And The New York Times reports that the average computer user checks 40 websites a day and can switch programs 36 times an hour.
“It’s an onslaught of information coming in today,” says New York Times technology journalist Matt Richtel. “At one time a screen meant maybe something in your living room. But now it’s something in your pocket so it goes everywhere — it can be behind the wheel, it can be at the dinner table, it can be in the bathroom. We see it everywhere today.”
Jamie King
August 24, 2010 @ 2:41 pm
We must give props to all the DoucheBerry’s too!
Dondy Razon
August 24, 2010 @ 11:09 pm
I don’t think we’ve lost the ability to turn off or focus. I think we just adapted to the changing times… At the same time we should really re-evaluate what deserves our focus cause you are right about not being able to get it back once its all lost or passed.
You don’t want to look back and look at your digital pictures to relieve your life cause you weren’t there to live it!
Special moments pass by every second… Don’t waste your time capturing it for later use or sharing it for someone else to consume!
Liam Mooney
August 25, 2010 @ 1:17 am
@Doug & Jon – You should read Barry Glassner’s book, The Culture of Fear. He describes this very well. If of course you don’t have the time to read the book there are a a couple of highlight chapters (I can dig them up if you’d like). I suggest the hardcopy and not the iBooks version for your iPad, given the nature of the discussion haha.
@Jon. You hit the nail on the head here. Technology, ithis and ithat, tag who and tweet what, google it and BBM me. This is, unfortunately, a summation of our everyday lives now.
In his book Into the Wild Christopher McCandless concluded (after years of living in isolation) that “Happiness is only real of it’s shared.”
There is something really superficial, or something un-humanesque about living a COMPLETELY digital lifestyle. You miss the finer things in life (like your kids playing in the park. I mean really, are our emails really more important?).
I could go on and on and take this down a really ridiculously over intellectual argument, but for your sake and everyone else’s I won’t.
On a personal level, I am addicted to this stuff. It’s like cocaine. You constantly need a fix. I should do something about it too.
I think everyone should have one analog day a week and write about their day afterward and share it like you have. That would be neat.
On the lifestyle change part, totes mcgoats. You can change it. It’s all about setting expectations with people, that’s how I lost 72 pounds.
“Hey friends, yea sure I will come to the potluck but please dont ask me 5306829460 times to eat the cheesecake, I really don’t need it :)”
So if people know you are going analog for certain times they will respect it. Tim Ferriss sorta writes about this in the 4 Hour Work Week.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
Jon Finkelstein
August 25, 2010 @ 7:09 am
@Dondy. I love this: “Special moments pass by every second… Don’t waste your time capturing it for later use or sharing it for someone else to consume!”
However there is something to be said for social sharing at the right times. And I like @Liam’s quote about happiness is only real when shared.
Balance?
Jon Finkelstein
August 25, 2010 @ 9:17 am
Also, I want to give credit to Jamie King for the iDouce moniker. Thanks Mr. King.
Amy
August 25, 2010 @ 5:34 pm
Jon,
All too well do I know and have experienced this what you write.
Didn’t have a cell phone for a few years. The only time it really bothered me was when I was driving somewhere and couldn’t find my destination.
I attended a pool party with 12 other people in the time without “my” phone (what a joke…we possess the strangest things) and remember very distinctly-everyone at this social gathering-except me…had their faces glued to the screens of their phones. Annoyed, I asked everyone if they planned on talking to one another? We were together and there was very little conversation happening in the pool house.
I am a recovering drug addict-I was sent to hospital about 2 years ago for the damage I’d done to myself. NO TV, NO RADIO, NO CELL PHONE, NO INTERNET. I hope that you are not skeptic about what I am about to share: IN THAT SILENCE, I OPENED MYSELF UP TO BE ABLE TO HEAR FROM GOD. (this is not in caps for no reason)
I had an awakening like I’ve never experienced.
Had I NOT turned everything off and listened…rather than trying to be the false multi-tasking on the go go go creation which I don’t believe He created us for…I wouldn’t have heard BOO!
We ignore our real lives. We ignore those moments that matter most…and the stupid thing is, sometimes we miss the moment all together b/c we are trying to capture it with these devices…so that we can share with people who don’t really matter or care…on FB or some other false place.
When is enough…REALLY enough?
And-how many times my words are misinterpreted via texting or msging…!!! I miss human eye contact.
Dondy Razon
August 26, 2010 @ 2:08 pm
@Jon. Balance is good. Its just a matter of what you convince yourself of what is good balance for you. I think being connected 18hrs a day is good balance for me. :)
And this moment is special… I’m glad we shared it!
Mark Sabbann
November 21, 2010 @ 10:47 am
Jon, Great post. The irony in “The major drawback was the shards of glass that would stick into my fingers if i touched the screen….” is awesome. Go visceral, drive that 356 and disconnect from technology…
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